I haven't written a blog since I was an overly emotional thirteen year old so me being nearly twentyone now that's about eight years... I can't necessarily say I've grown up, though back then I hated the world and everyone who inhabited it so I can clearly say I've lost that aspect...
I look back and I think "ah~ I was very angry."
I look back and I regret pushing everyone away, I regret blaming all my problems on someone who didn't even care to begin with. I'm not gonna say what he did was ok, what he did was wrong and terrible, but I was living in such a state of depression, living just to remind him of what he'd done to me that I forgot how to breath.
I lived for several years in a suffocated state, focused of revenge and hate that I was slowly becoming nothing but a hallow shell of a person.
then one day I woke up, well, more like I was startled awake.
my Grandpa died...
He was someone I loved, someone I cared deeply for but I'd been so hallow back then that I pushed even his love away... I never got to let him see me smile in those last few days that he was alive.
today, today I believe in Angels, I believe that they help me up every time I fall.
today I feel as though I can breath again.
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